AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert
minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end
opposite the handle.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the
garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of our lungs. It is also,
most often, the next tool that you will need.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted
hood of your Jeep which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing
could get to it.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
their holes until you die of old age.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any
known drill bit that snaps neatly off in the bolt you are trying to remove thereby ending any
possiblity of removing the broken bolt.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked,unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, liquids in plastic bottles,
collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals
under lids but is usually used, as the name implies, to strip
out Phillips screw heads.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the
creation of blood-blisters.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make everything too short.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint
cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch
wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Not commonly found in the metal fabrication shop.

TUBE BENDER: Device used for converting useable straight tube into oddly bent useless items
resembling modern art.

TUBE NOTCHER: Used in conjuction with the drill press to notch tube 1/2" too short.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum
tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to
completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to
transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the
conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WIRE FEED WELDER: Used for dispensing wire.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints
and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes
you to say, "Oh shit!"